I did have a different post planned for today, but I figured I'd talk about something a little more relevant to what is happening in my life right now.
As you all know, I'm currently attending a summer grad school session in Colorado. While I am keeping pretty busy and having a good time, the stress level of the work has been aggravated by the huge administrative mistake I was talking about on Saturday. Add to that the fact that I've been pretty horny with no good release for about four weeks now, and I'm just in a really bad place.
It struck me on Saturday, when I was walking around to take my mind off of things (as well as cruising and striking out in a restroom), that I was getting laid more often in high school than I am now. That doesn't seem right. I mean, sure, it is a bit harder to meet people and I'm a bit more discriminating in partners than I was back then. And now that I top, I have to deal with bottoms who are nervous or worry that they might miss out on the hot top sugar daddy who will take care of them for life if they spend a few hours with me. Angry ranting aside, I've been feeling somewhat sexually frustrated recently.
And very recently my frustrations have been coming out in my dreams.
At first it was pretty basic stuff, not really sexy. Wednesday night of last week I had a dream where for a while Rob the Breeder, Frank O'Hara (a dead poet) and I were at a coffee shop drinking and talking. Rob and Frank were being pretty normal, but I was subtly (or not) trying to get a three-way started before my dream morphed into me winning a hamburger eating contest.
|This is what Frank O'Hara looked like, if you wondered.|
It started out pretty normal, I was walking through a park on a path covered by trees. I came to what was basically a dog area and sat on a bench and kinda wished I had a dog, but then I had one and it was bugging me so I just let it fall out of the dream. Then a limo-like car pulled up and the window rolled down and a male and female couple stuck their heads out and called me over. In moments we were at their apartment and they were naked and making out with each other. I figured that I was sort of there to watch so I started just jerking. But then two more guys came into the room and stripped naked too. Then the woman started tying the men up and blindfolding them. She was dressed like a picture perfect dominatrix and I too was dressed differently in leather chaps and boots. She and I then systematically beat and fucked the three other men in the room. It was really hot and in the context of the dream I was pretty much able to do anything I wanted.
When I woke up from this dream I was incredibly horny and made somewhat of a quick run to the bathroom to jerk off and relax. It was probably one of the hottest sex dreams I had ever had, but it also annoyed me. I usually only have sex dreams if I'm sick, and I never have had wet dreams. I was getting off regularly enough as a young man that I didn't have to worry about shooting in my sleep. So why then did I have this hot dream? It is because I'm not getting off enough. I'm in an apartment with 3 other guys, sharing a bedroom with one, and on campus pretty much all day every day. There's not really enough privacy for jerking off and I can't bring guest over to fuck. I'm just really strung out these days.
I just hope that once this whole event is over and behind me I'll be getting laid regularly again. And that I'll be less stressed by the administration at my college fucking me over.