Thursday, July 14, 2011

We Have a Bit of a Problem: A Rant

I'm still feeling sick and trying to push through everything and it had been my intention to just take a break from posting once I ran out of pre-written posts until I could get better. Unfortunately, some cricumstances have caused me to need to write this post up. These circumstances involve a very small minority group of my readers, but sadly I need to make my statement public. So I appologize to my readers who do not act in this manner. I don't mean to incriminate you with the rest.

Those of you who aren't in the minority group and don't follow me on Twitter (where I have mini-ranted about this before), likely don't know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the trolls and flamers. Sure, I don't get many, not nearly as many as more well-read blogs, but recently I've been getting more and more. And in a strange way, they all seem to be using the same tactic to piss me off: They come at me through the people I love and then use me to hurt those same people.

In multiple incidents I have been forced to deal with people who, for some strange reason or another, get very angry at either Rob the Breeder, me, or both of us. They get it in their heads that they are entitled to much more interaction with us than we have time to give, or are simply crazy and rude. Either way, the result has frequently been the same. They gather up their hatred and use it to attempt to split Rob and me apart.

The worst part is that this has all happened when I'm dealing with fevers and illness, so they immediately latch on to my sickness and use it for evidence that Rob has given me HIV, or they subtly hint to that fact (it isn't really that subtle, but they think so). When someone who is actually worried about me suggests HIV, I respectfully tell them what I tell every and what I will now put on my blog for all to read: I tested negative for HIV and a few other STDs on June 1st of this year. I have nothing to worry about, and I'm not concerned with contracting from Rob anyway. He tests negative as regularly as I do and we are both tops now, which protects us from most of the ways one contracts the virus.

Most people I tell this to stop asking or take my word for it. But these guys don't. They'll give me lines like, "It can incubate for years," or "You can never be totally sure of a guy's status." Both are valid points, but that is also a risk I have chosen to live with in my life. If you have a problem with that, then why are you reading either of our blogs? They also will try to get me to give them information of Rob's personal life and his family. As if I were going to tell them terrible things about Rob to satisfy their hatred.

The things that amazes me is that they don't even think that maybe I would be more loyal to a man I know (and who I have confessed my love for multiple times) than to a stranger I just met online. And they also seem to think that Rob and I don't still talk to each other. We do. Frequently. Maybe not daily, but close. We are very good friends and nothing a stranger can say is going to break that apart.

I am getting sick of dealing with it and sick of being villianized for protecting someone I love from attack. So I'm writing this post to let anyone thinking about doing such a thing know that it isn't going to happen. Don't even try. Rob and I will shut you down quicker than you can try to backtrack and talk your way out. And I know that I will personally block you on whatever means of communication you contact me on: be it Twitter, Facebook, blog comments, or emails. I don't deserve that kind of disrespect and I won't put up with it.

Thank you to the many, many readers who are all sane and just read this blog for the sake of reading it. You guys are what keep me going and I love hearing from you and replying to your comments and emails. Thanks.

16 comments:

  1. i totally agree with you. if someone does not approve of what or how you do something they don't have to read it or comment on it. it's your business and if you enjoy it go for it. personally i love reading yours and robs stories. i look forward to them every day. i live through them. please keep writing as i enjoy each and every one.
    thanks

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  2. Ace, one point about the 'incubate for years' comment(s) you've received:

    Depending on certain factors, the body may not produce anti-HIV antibodies for 3 months, very rarely for 6 months. Viral load testing, which is usually not done absent a positive antibody test or good reasons to believe a person is experiencing acute HIV viremia, will detect HIV as soon as two weeks following infection.

    The comment about 'incubating for years' refers to the emergence of an AIDS-defining condition. Those who use this catchphrase are fear mongering. The comments about a partner possibly not knowing they have HIV are more on point, even if the intention of those comments is more malign. The latest estimates I have seen for men who have sex with men in the US is that 25% with HIV don't know. Naturally, this does not mean that one quarter of all men who have sex with men have HIV - just for any careless readers out there...

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  3. Anon at 8:53am,

    Don't worry. Some scummy jerk who sends me rude emails isn't going to get me to stop writing my stories. I write for myself and I love it.

    -Ace

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  4. RedPhillip,

    You're comments are very spot-on and probably ones I should have made in my own post. There are many men who don't get tested and simply do not know that they have HIV. This is why I am a huge advocate for HIV/AIDS awareness and frequent testing. While I don't discriminate based on sero-status, I still think it is important to know, especially for the man who has it, because there are ways to treat HIV and possibly a cure on the horizon.

    -Ace

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  5. Some people just don't have anything else better to do then cause trouble.

    When you get down to it, this is cyberland so it really shouldn't matter what anyone does since 99.999999999 percent of the people in cyberland will never meet in person. Which is the reaons some people like to cause trouble or just be plain annoying.

    And since it is cyberland we all know the 'hot young blond stud with the big weenie' is really a 80yr old grandmother (lol), but we have no reason to believe otherwise since most will never meet in person.

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  6. My involvement is neither here nor there. What's appalling is that there's a subset of people who just like to fuck around with those who appear in the public eye even in as extremely minor a way as a blogger can.

    Whether or not the person's fucking around with you as a way to get back at me, or whether they're dicking around with you and trying to fear-monger, as RedPhillip points out, in an effort to frighten you or establish themselves as an authority in your life, they're basically just being dicks. And dicks need to be shut down.

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  7. cyberi4a,

    Well I can tell you that THIS hot blonde stud with the big weenie isn't an 80 year old grandmother, regardless of what Ethel, oh, you know my girlfriend Ethel from down at the five and dime, might have told you.

    -Ace

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  8. Rob,

    Well, there is, of course, a certain kind of dick that I never shut down...But these guys are dicks in the worst kind of way. And you're right, they need to be shut down. Every time we let them get to us, they get a sick little pleasure out of it, and I won't let someone use me for that. I won't.

    -Ace

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  9. Ace,
    I was sick from reading this. How can anybody can do those things to two such amazing people that i love and call friends. I am so angry about those peoples that are doing that to you and Rob. You know how i fell about you both and i'm very sorry that this is happening to both of you. I think that they are jealous of your frienship and that they want to be in your place. Love you both very deaply guys.

    Yves

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  10. Very well stated Ace! I have not met either of you yet but do hope so in the future but yet feel like I know you both personally and find it rude and disrespectful in how they are treating you both.

    You both have chose to Bareback and know the risk and I have also. Keep barebacking and blogging stud!

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  11. I call this the "American Idol Syndrome" which basically says that we have the right to pass judgment on everything or everyone that comes across our line of site.

    I also like to remind myself of this - most of the people that do this, do not have a life. Those that are active and living a fun and fulfilled life do not have time to judge others.

    ErieBear

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  12. Yves,

    I'm not really concerned with whether or not they are jealous, though I suspect that they are. I just want to be not bothered by them regardless.

    -Ace

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  13. RAW Piggy Bottom,

    Thanks for your support! I'm glad to have readers who share my choices and support them. I hope you keep reading.

    -Ace

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  14. ErieBear,

    "American Idol Syndrome" is a great way to describe it. And I would agree that those of us busy living and doing often don't have time to pass judgement, but I rarely pass it on others anyway. Which probably is part of the reason why I am so appalled when others are rude enough to pass such heavy and angry judgements on me.

    -Ace

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  15. Ace

    I'm sorry that you are fighting off this illness AND fighting off ignorance -- it pisses me off that someone or some people are channeling their own issues in such a negative and manipulative way. I love the way ErieBear described it. He's right on the money. I have received some hate mail myself and I find it so interesting that they are based on a bunch of incorrect assumptions. Ace, you are awesome. Your friendship with Rob is yours and his to manage. Two incredibly smart gifted men whom enjoy each other as you both do have nothing to worry about. And now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go Jo to your header picture. Again.

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  16. Loki,

    Thanks for your support. And you're right about something: I've noticed that a lot of the hate mail and trolling I get is generally related to a lot of assumptions about me and my life that are either way off base or completely based on a false reality. So strange.

    And if you like the picture, you should catch the real show sometime.

    -Ace

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