Sunday, October 23, 2011

Formspring and Man Do I Love Kids

So I spent a significant amount of time yesterday taking care of the two youngest members of my family. From around 2pm to this morning, two girls aged six and three, as well as a dog and a cat, were under my supervision. And none of them died. Now that you've all had your fun sarcastically gasping at the screen, I have to admit that it was a really fun and enlightening experience for me. I have always known that I love kids and have always suspected that I want to have some, but this was the first time I got to experience having kids. It was exhausting and tiring, and at 9pm when I sent the oldest to bed, it felt like it was already well after midnight. But once I knew that both girls were in bed and asleep, I had this wonderful sense of everything feeling right. I was the only person still awake, I had the TV on, the dog at my feet, and even alone in the large house my cousin owns, I still felt right. I now fully believe that some day I am destined to own a nice house and have children who wear me out, but still bring me joy. While for some people that is a given reality, it has never been guaranteed for me. While I suspect that some or many of my readers are in the same boat as me, there is still the societal norm of having kids and a house in the suburbs. Last night was the first time I actually felt like I could live that life and not lose my distinct identity to the family ideal. I can see myself being the sexy father who fools around while still bringing his kids up well. This is all, of course, way in the future, but in this moment, I can see it on the horizon.

Anyway, enough of the future projections that may or may not come true. Time to get to the nitty gritty and answer some questions! As always, you can ask me anything on Formspring or use the contact info on the side to shoot me an email. I love answering these questions, so keep them coming!

Have you ever burned your testicles while cooking in the nude?

Not my testicles. But my arms and hands. Then again, I've burned those while cooking clothed. I don't generally make a mess cooking so I'm usually safe for naked stuff.

Have you ever been present at an autopsy? Would you like to be? Does that interest you?

Not at an autopsy, but I've been to a body farm before. I also got to watch a bit of cadaver dissection. Dating a forensic biology major and rooming with another one allowed me to learn all kinds of things about dead bodies.

Armpits: wear deodorant or go natural.

Depends on various things. If I'm going to have sex I usually won't wear any because I find that most men who like pits will want me to be natural. However, I don't go around without deodorant all the time. I sweat a lot and can get pretty rank on a hot day or after a lot of activity. Though, I have been complimented on having a more pleasant funk than most.

Have you ever turned your gold into cash?

I never had gold to begin with. I did turn in some silver once, but frankly the whole thing is a bit of a rip-off unless you sell at a local, family run appraisal business. You're better off selling your old gold and silver on ebay or something.

If you woke up a woman for a day, what would you do that only a woman could do?

Have my period. Just kidding. Really though, when I see this question I think, "Why would I want to be a woman for a day?" It isn't that I think women are worse than men. I just like being in MY body too much to switch. Even for a day.

Are you an optimistic person?

I'm generally very optimistic, especially outwardly when dealing with friends. I keep the positive attitude going. Sometimes, however, in my head I'm nothing but a pessimist and I don't give myself the benefit of the doubt. It sucks.

What is your favorite Feel Good Film?

Because I love movies and have seen more than I can count, there are a few I would say are my favorites. In no order: Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Princess Bride, and Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy. Not a normal list, for sure, but those ones always make me smile, even when I have the jokes memorized.

IS 30 Minutes or Less One of the great disappointments of the cinematic year?

Haven't seen it, but I can say I thought it looked like a crap film. So if I saw it, I would probably feel vindicated more than disappointed. I just don't like bad movies.

Why Is Lionsgate Trying To Turn The Hunger Games Into Twilight?

Don't ask me to even pretend to care about these two travesties to the literary and film communities.

Are you the type of person who figures out the murderer in a book or movie?

Easily. Usually within the first 40 pages or 20 minutes. I have pegged the murderer simply by watching a trailer. I knew who the devil was in Devil from the trailer. Same with the ending of Shutter Island.

That's all for this week. See you all in the next installment.


  1. I actually watched the trailer for 30 minutes or less. It really doesn't look very good although I adore Jesse Eisenberg.

    Groomed men can be nice but when they wear too much cologne or deodorant I always get suspicious: What are they hiding?

  2. @countess - I think many men suffer from two problems: they lack objective assessment of the effect of their fragrance choices; and many have been convinced that normal body aromas are disgusting/offensive/dirty, etc. Those latter men are hiding, in a way, but more from themselves than from others. True, one does occasionally run into an outlier who tips the scale for rankness, and is thus justifiably disguised.

  3. Countesszero and RedPhillip,

    I have been told on multiple occasions that my natural scent is very pleasant. I mostly wear deodorant as a protection against sweating too much than to mask my odor. As such, my deodorant is usually understated, and I find it can enhance my scent.


  4. I am sure your natural scent is wonderful, intoxicating in fact -- because it's "you." And I know you will be a wonderful father because you are kind, caring and loving as well as smart -- and dynamite handsome, which gives you a very good shot at gorgeous children. I want to be around long enough to see you become a sexy daddy. Rjd

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