Saturday, October 1, 2011


This last winter was a fairly slow one for me. I got caught up in a lot of problems that stem from applying to graduate schools, like the INSANELY long essays about yourself and your likes and dislikes or the fact that they all seem to want the same thing, just in a totally different way. I had a fairly regular fuck in the form of a boy on my campus who is almost not worth mentioning. I don't mean to lessen his impact on my life, he just really didn't have any. He was one of those guys who really just doesn't understand sex too well, always trying to move into uncomfortable positions and either talking about school and homework during sex or not giving me any verbal contact at all. Obviously not the ideal person to fuck around with, but in the winter, for states that have fairly bad winters, it can be really hard to find someone to fuck with. So a lot of us get with who we can and stick out the cold months. I remember that Rob the Breeder began writing about Spencer around the time that I started pulling away from my easy fuck, and I remember wishing someone that special would appear in my life.

He did. At first I didn't realize it, but he was there. He and I had many conversations about our mutual attraction (though, initially he was more attracted to me than I to him). He was very caring and had just gotten out of a very serious relationship on his end that turned out to be a fling for the other guy. I was upfront with him about my situation. I didn't know where I was going to be once the school year was over, but there was a good chance I wouldn't stay in Ohio, even if no grad schools accepted me. I told him that I would never expect him to get serious with me because he had two kids already and I would not have him follow me out of state and leave them behind. He kept telling me it was ok, but I balked and avoided him. I said that I wasn't interested in a long term relationship at that time. And I wasn't. I was going to be leaving the state for good in May. What would have been the point of starting anything in January.

So we remained mostly friends while I continued applying to different colleges. My last due date for an application was in early February, and once that was done, I felt like I had time to breathe. My Romeo had asked about Valentine's Day, but like I had been, I said no. I didn't want a date, I didn't want a boyfriend, I just wanted to be alone. My roommate was spending the night at his girlfriend's dorm so I would have until early morning to be alone (my roommate, being a good Christian, never stayed the night). I turned on the TV and got ready for a stress-free evening.

There was a knock at my door. I walked over, not sure who it was. Most of my friends would text before coming over, so I half-assumed it was just my roommate back early after a fight with his girlfriend. But when I opened the door there was Romeo, standing there with a stuffed gorilla holding a red heart and a fake rose. "I know you don't want a boyfriend," he said, "But I would still like it if you would be my Valentine."

I melted. Here was this man, standing vulnerable outside my apartment, holding the sweetest, cheap gift anyone had ever given me. I pulled him inside and immediately began making out with him, holding him to me, happy to have a receptive body around my own. I had wanted a boyfriend, I had wanted romance. Hell, I had probably wanted a long term relationship after being single for so long. It almost hurt to let him hold me, but I loved every moment of it. He had seduced me so instantaneously that I hadn't had a chance to block it. All I knew was that we were on my couch passionately kissing and loving.

We ended up at his apartment where he made us dinner of spaghetti and garlic bread. It was delicious even though I was not super hungry having eaten a ton of chocolate before he showed up. After dinner we climbed the stairs to his room and we made love. There was no fucking or being fucked, there was just two bodies rolling around on top of each other and two men deeply in love exploring everywhere they could. He was a little chubby, but not in an unattractive way. His warmth felt good after the cold walk over, and his tongue ring clacked the inside of my teeth, sending strange shivers into my body every time. He enjoyed my hair and my nipples and could hardly keep his hands off my cock.

After what felt like hours of us rolling around together we both came to powerful orgasms, and I licked our mixed cum off his belly. In the dying minutes of Valentine's day we lay together in his bed, holding hands and looking in each other's eyes. In that moment I was very much in love with him and I knew that we would be great together. But that moment did not last, and neither did our relationship. After all, he was still looking to settle down with a man and I was on my way out. Neither of us were going to change in the coming months together. But in that moment, on that night, we were perfectly together and happier than I could remember being. The rest is a story for another day.


  1. Thanks, Ace. By the end you had me hearing Crosby Stills and Nash.

    "And if you can't be with the one you love honey...."

  2. Kevin,

    That's funny. I was thinking "Second Hand News" by Fleetwood Mac while I was writing it. CSN works too, though.


  3. Wow, you packed a wonderfully bittersweet punch with that story. That was lovely and very moving. Sometimes timing can work its magic in a good way and then sucker-punch you on the way out. At least you had that beautiful moment to remember.

    Your annoying fuckmate that you started the story with sounds like he’s scared of sex. There’s a certain amount of surrender to really good sex and he sounds like he wasn’t ready for it. Maybe he never will be, but what a waste. He didn’t realize how good he could have had it with you, if he’d just paid attention.

  4. Ciel,

    It was a wonderful moment, I have to admit. I was lucky to share it with him.

    As for the annoying fuck buddy, I was and still am somewhat convinced that he is not actually gay or bi, just confused. Maybe he was just not a sexual person. All I know is that sex with him was pure mechanics, insert rod A into hole B and repeat. Not much fun, but better than my hand.


  5. I should probably wait for that '[an]other day' for the follow-up to this, since there are many ways a situation like this can evolve. I had a relationship of startling intensity come into my life after I had determined to leave Denver for New York some months hence. I wrote of this beautiful man in response to one of Blogfather Breeder's posts about Spencer. I will be wondering what differences, what similarities, there may be in our respective outcomes.

  6. RedPhillip,

    So far the only person who knows the full version of how our relationship has played out is the Breeder. I'm afraid that it is a bit hard to write about what came later. I enjoyed the happier times so much more. And I would love to go back and try to find that post, but I doubt I have the time, and it makes me sad.


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