I have to apologize to my readers. I know on Sunday's post I said I was trying to get back into things and get posting regularly again, but then I didn't. It isn't that I don't have anything to post about, but I've been having trouble getting the time to post. And it isn't because I'm incredibly busy this week either. It is more of a sleep deprivation issue. As in, I haven't been sleeping much recently. Much at all. And it isn't that I'm not tired, I am. But I find myself lying awake at night wondering why I haven't fallen asleep, staring at my ceiling or my clock or watching something on YouTube or Netflix on my cellphone just to try and shut myself off for the night. And yet I have recently watched 4am, 5am, and even once 6am drift past me as I waited for sleep to arrive.
Then I sleep through my alarm and don't wake up until noon or later. Always exhausted. Always hungry and thirsty. And always pissed off at myself for letting so much of the day go by. And every time I don't fall asleep I get frustrated and angry with myself (even though I know it isn't my fault). I get forced to speed through my morning routine and then tackle what I had planned for the day in a shortened amount of time. As much as I like to think that things can be done on unusual schedules, I'm increasingly finding that when you've decreased the hours your awake during the general work day down to 3-5, you really run the risk of not getting anything done that you needed to.
And this has been going on for way too long with me. I get close to making it better, but then something happens and I'm stuck lying awake at night again. Well, yesterday after waking up around 12:30pm, I decided that enough was enough was too much (as the father owl in that old Merrie Melodies cartoon "I Love to Singa" would say). On the suggestion of a few of my friends, I'm trying out a melatonin supplement, which is supposed to be a natural way to make me sleep. I don't know how effective it will be or how long it will keep me out (everyone says it was safe and wouldn't keep me out long), but I'm hoping it will get me to sleep and let me be rested enough to wake up when I want to in the morning. And hopefully, after a few days, my sleep schedule will be reset and I will be back in business and not so constantly pissed off at myself.
It has even gotten in the way of me having sex recently. I've always made it a rule for myself that I don't put aside important things in order to have sex. But when I'm not finishing my important stuff until dinner time, that is kind of hard to do. So while I have had some good times recently, I haven't had nearly as much as I could have if I had more time. I've also missed out on movies and meeting people. I've been a bit of a hermit recently. I've even pulled away from online interactions, letting my Facebook, Twitter, and even my emails get a bit behind and out of control. But sleep problems can do that to you, I guess.
So anyway, here's hoping this plan works. I'm trying not to be skeptical. And if everything works out I should be back to my regular, mostly cheery self in no time. I apologize for being withdrawn, but hopefully that will be over and done with soon. Thanks for understanding.